


A Dry Salad

by Rowan_Sprawls



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Birthday, Drabble, M/M, you cannot Know Mr. Birthday Cake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:27:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24403558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rowan_Sprawls/pseuds/Rowan_Sprawls
Summary: Jon gets Martin a birthday cake but it leads to some difficult questions.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 1
Kudos: 24





	A Dry Salad

Martin took a slice of birthday cake onto his paper plate and set it in front of him.

"So, 30 years old. That's quite a milestone," said Jon

"I don't know what you're talking about," said Martin, depositing a forkful of frosting into his mouth, "I'm 29. 29 going on 29,"

"Please, Martin."

"I'm serious!"

"Martin, I know better."

"And only you will ever know better. No one else needs to know the truth about my age, not even me!"

"Fine. I suppose its not worth arguing."

Jon sat quietly, listening to the sound of chewing. He had spent the last 20 minutes picking bird's portions out of his own thin slice, but still finished long before Martin despite this careful pacing. Martin, for his part, was on slice number three.

"Say, Jon?"

"Yes?"

"Have you heard the expression 'have your cake and eat it too?'"

"Of course."

"What's it supposed to mean?"

"Well, I'd suppose it means something like... Well - actually - would you like me to just Know it for you?"

"Erm, I guess. But later. First, I'd like to hear what you think. I've never known what to make of it myself."

"I think it means that, once you eat your cake, you don't have a cake anymore. So there's a sort of sacrifice you have to make. Either you eat the cake, so you don't have it anymore, or don't eat the cake, so you get to keep it."

Martin finished his slice. He eyed what remained of the cake, a glint determination showing on his strained face.

Then a moment passed, and he thought better of it.

"That's stupid,"

"I'm sorry?"

"The expression! Its stupid. Why would you ever have a cake you're not gonna eat? Actually, Jon, yeah! Why WOULD you have a cake you're not going to eat?"

"I'm sorry, it was the smallest cake they had,"

"I'm just saying, there's nothing good about having a cake if you're going to just let it sit and get moldy or something."

"Are we talking about the expression right now or my eating habits?"

"I don't know, Jon. I don't know things. You're the one who Knows things."

"...well now I Know its about my eating habits."

"Alright, fine! It's about your eating habits."

Jon paused. He looked uncertainly at the cake. Why did you start this conversation, Mr. Birthday Cake? Why did you take it here? He thought this, but, deep down, Jon Knew the cake would yield no answers.

"Alright, fine. Martin, I suppose I'm sorry that I bought you a cake on your birthday."

"Jon, its not about the cake. I like the cake. Thank you for the cake. Its just frustrating sometimes. I'd like to go out to eat with you more often, but I always get a 900 gram steak and you get like a dry salad or something."

"A dry salad?"

"You know what I mean. You just make me feel... self-conscious whenever we get something other than tea and coffee."

"Martin, I don't think you eat as much as you think you do. Even if you did, I don't mind treating you."

"Still -"

"I know, I know. How about this, next time we get dinner, we share a plate? I eat... as close to half of whatever you order as I can."

"Yeah. Yeah I think I would like that. And, next birthday, we just get a few cupcakes."

"Deal."


End file.
